A black day

Today was a hard day, after the last two blissfully hopeful days today really knocked me out. I should have known, or maybe not, who knows. It started weird, I couldnt sleep last night then woke up an hour before the alarm this morning and when we were ready to go , I just rushed back to the kitchen and on my way by accident somehow made the glass coffe pot fall to ground . Usually i really dont care about breaking kitchen stuff, and in Germany we even have this superstition that breaking glass by accident brings luck , but today it gave me a bad feeling. All the more so that then DF started a fight about it, which I thought was particularly insensitive since I was on my way to an interview.

And now to what really was the last drop.When my friend mentioned this job offering in her multinational company I believed that since she is doing her job in English there, this one would be too. But once I got there and did my interview and found out the exact job describtion, my heart sunk. Its a French Executive's pa job ,I would have to write business letters in French and such like. Even though the interview went well, that basically means that I could never do my job well there. So all this hope for nothing.
Why on earth is it so hard to find a job that is done in English in this huge international city!!!

I was so close today to getting on the next flight out of here.
And what was the worst part, I had to call my mom and tell her that it didnt work out, AGAIN! That is what gets to me really is disappointing people ,who believe in me. God I wish I was still in school.I practically cried all afternoon.

And now after I finally managed to pull myself together again , DF's aunt calls. I didn't even want to pick up the phone. I mean I know she probably called because he told them something or other. And I think she is a wonderful kindhearted woman but people who sympathetically ask about my work stuff, after a day like this it just upsets me even more. And I did my best not to start crying again, I mean I met this lady once and didnt really want to fall apart on her.But I also was not really in a mood to be chatty. Oh well tomorrow is a new day. Am just signing up for monster.com,
and checking out my fave blogs ;stylemepretty.com and Storked! on glamour.com helped.

I planned this lovely blog for today about men's silly habits and Rilke, it will have to wait for another day. pauvre me :-)